20 golden rules for any office:

Rule 1. – The Boss is always right.

Rule 2. – If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3. – Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

Rule 4. – Ph.D. stands for “Pull Him Down”. The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person,
the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

Rule 5. – If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Rule 6. – When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Rule 7. – It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.

Rule 8. – A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Rule 9. – Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

Rule10. – The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Rule11. – If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Rule12. – When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Rule13. – Following the rules will not get the job done.

Rule14. – If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Rule15. – Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous” .

Rule16. – No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

Rule17. – You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing.

Rule18. – In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

Rule19. – In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

Rule20. – The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.